Different Voices

I was watching a video yesterday where a guy was talking about his interview with a boy who has autism. Throughout this guy’s interview, he was saying that all the young boy wanted to talk about was shapes, so the person who was interviewing finally gave in, asked the boy’s mother to step out, and based the whole interview on something the boy was comfortable with: shapes. Whether we are disabled or not, we all have different voices, and different ways in which we feel comfortable communicating. For me, I have the voice to speak, but being an introvert, I’ve always felt I can better express my feelings through my writing. My mom said when I was in preschool my teachers kept telling her I needed a communication device to help me express myself, because I wouldn’t speak one word to them, but my mom refused. Mom said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, because she speaks just fine at home.” A couple of years later, I got a male teacher. He said, “Ashley speaks just fine, and she doesn’t need anything to help her.” (Yes, I’ve always been a flirt, but don’t hold it against me. Ha!) I know some people who have cerebral palsy like me, and they have communication devices, or some who don’t have the means to talk at all, but can still understand you. I hate when sometimes people ask my mom, or the person who’s with me questions instead of me. I can talk too. It just takes courage and patience with people no matter who they are. Never assume either.

In Christ’s Love,
Ashley N. Moulin

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2017 Reflection: Who I am

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; YOU ARE MINE.” Isaiah 43:1

I mentioned on this blog back in September how I had lost my purpose for writing. My problem was that when Eb first asked me to start this blog with her, I asked God to help me become the best disability advocate I could be. That was my main focus. I put all of my passion into this blog. I loved our new venture. I put my identity into writing. I put all of my passion into my friends. Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends, but I love my Jesus more. I had just forgotten that. As my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ know, when we put our hearts into anything but Jesus it all begins to fall apart, and that’s what happened to me. I lost my passion for everything. I forgot who I am.

During this time, I just began to let go of everything. I began to study the Bible more, and to cry and pour my heart out to God. I stepped away from the world. I began to spend more time with Jesus. I said, “God, I”m always going to need you, and I know You’re always speaking to me. The problem is, I don’t know how to listen. Help me learn to listen, because I want to hear Your voice in every aspect of my life. I need your guidance. Until I learn to listen, can You just speak to me so clearly right now, because I need to hear your voice. I am in so much pain.” When I began to lose myself, I subscribed to my sister in Christ, Sadie Robertson’s blog, and it was during the time I begged God to speak to me that I received an email. A young girl had written a post on this blog that spoke to me in my darkness. This girl’s words were my exact feelings. God had spoken to me through writing. (Duh!) I also went to a faith conference where a lady said, “I see writers that God is going to use in this room.” At the time, it didn’t mean anything to me. I didn’t see God through my pain. He was there though. I know He was. Sometimes, we are just too blind to see Him, but He’s there. All we have to do is call out to Jesus.

It’s like this year God has said to me, “Ashley, I don’t just want you to be a disability advocate, but I also want you to be My advocate. If you lose everything don’t worry, because I have plans for you my child. Live in that.”

Before I’m a disability advocate, or a writer, no matter how bad or good I may be at either of those things, and before I’m a friend, I’m a daughter of God. I’m a Christian. It took this summer for me to realize that again, and for God to wake me up. I pray I never forget that, but if I do, I know He’ll be waiting with open arms no matter what.

This is who I am. I hope and pray that my story has touched at least one person this year. If I don’t write before then, may my God bless all of your holidays.

In Christ’s Love,

Ashley N. Moulin

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Faith Like A Mustard Seed

“Did I tell you that I signed you up for rock climbing?”

My poor Mom. As she was telling me this, I burst into really hard and endless laughter, and in the days before this adventure, I couldn’t stop harrasing her about it, but if you knew my situation, you could imagine my fear. Having cerebral palsy, and being quadraplegic, I have absolutely no use of my arms or legs. What was I supposed to do? I could just imagine myself dragging up the wall with scrapes all over my body from the process. “It says on the website that people with cerebral palsy can do it.” she argued. “Do they know what KIND of cerebral palsy I have?” I argued back. Fast forward to rock climbing day. My thoughts are that this whole thing is dumb. Everything turns out fine. They put me securely in a chair, and I am able to get up that way. My body is nowhere near the wall. I loved it.

As much as I take pride in my disability, and it’s part of who I am, the one thing I hate is when people underestimate me because of it. Eb and I wouldn’t be the advocates we are today without our parents. They believe in us when we don’t believe in ourselves. For me, it’s more than who my earthly parents tell me I am. It’s even more who my Heavenly Father tells me I am. Friends, whether you have a disability or not, don’t let the world underestimate you, and don’t underestimate yourself. You don’t have to let the words of a Vocational Rehab counselor, or someone who interviews you for a job define you. If the Lord Jesus Christ has put a dream in your heart, then with Him, you CAN do it. All you need is the faith of a mustard seed. Matthew 17:20 “Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, move from here to there, and IT WILL MOVE. NOTHING will be impossible for you.”

In Christ’s Love,
Ashley N. Moulin

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For more info about rock climbing, or to donate, go to: http://www.teamcatalyst.org

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Building A Platform 

Have you ever helped someone with even realizing it? We all have our angels that watch over us, guiding us to do things we never thought were possible before. Well a few months ago I was down in the dumps because I couldn’t find a job. I felt hopeless, stagnant at times until one day realized I didn’t have to take the rejection of applying for jobs anymore . I could create my own ventures. So I started Friends On Wheelz with my best Ashley. We want to raise awareness about Cerebral Palsy and other disabilities. My main goal is to start a dialogue so that having a disability is not a barrier, rather a gateway to creating change. Acting and modeling is one way I’m creating my platform. 

Funny I’ve always said I was going to be a lawyer when I first entered college or so I thought. God said”That’s not your path, I have a different one. Follow mine my plan is greater.” Struggling I quickly realized this wasn’t my path. Well not that it wasn’t my path it was just that I would advocate in a different way. So I took year off to figure out what I wanted to do. I changed my major to Communication which was the perfect fit for me. I could still help others and use my creative side to do it. Now I’m using the skills I’ve learned to advocate for myself and others as well. My confidence has gone way up,hearing others tell me that my story has inspired them. It’s really others who inspire me to continue on my path creating change and making diffference in others lives whether it be disabled or able bodied. 
–Ebony  Washingron
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The Bigger Picture

“So if the Son sets you free you will be FREE indeed.” John 8:36

 

We’ve all wanted something more. A bigger picture. An answer to all the questions we have in life. An answer to the deep emptiness we feel in our own souls. There has GOT to be more to life than this. I know I’m not alone in feeling this way.

 

I know that through their emails, and other sources of communication, my fellow blogger, Ebony, and a few of my other close friends have wondered where I am as I have fled from Facebook. I decided the best way to explain would be through a blog post, since I feel that not only my friends, but strangers who happen upon this blog, or are subscribed to it need to read this too. Growing up into adulthood hasn’t been the easiest thing for me. All throughout my 20’s, I feel like I have faced more demons than any other age group, yet through all of this, I have come to know my God as a loving and faithful God.  This year has been a season of praying and literally crying out to God for certain people in my life, and for my life in general, and I know it sounds bad, but I really feel like Satan has used this moment in which I don’t know anything to attack me. The devil has used this moment in my life to make me flee from a world which desperately needs God’s love, and to not be the friend  I need to be. There are days when I feel so completely wrapped up  in Jesus’ love that nothing can touch me, and there are days when no matter how much I study the Bible and pray I still want a bigger picture. I want answers to  what I’ve been praying.  As I mentioned in my previous blog post, God gives us that bigger picture, because He gives us the story of redemption. He gives us the story of freedom through His Son, Jesus, as the verse above states. Friends, God also gives us a choice. We can either get to know God, and His life for us which is full of promises and dreams beyond our imagination, or we can choose to stick with this life. I feel like I kind of lost my purpose for writing, especially later this past summer, but I have decided I want to tell you my story of Freedom, and the story of Jesus in my life, and I’m not going to stop writing until He tells me to.  I’m about to be 27 in a couple of months, and I might not know everything right now, but I trust in my God to give me the bigger picture. His bigger picture. There’s something I read recently  off another blog that I loved, and want to leave you with: “God doesn’t just patch us up, but He HEALS us.”  As I wait and pray for His healing and plans in my life, I pray for the one reading this as well. Just remember, He loves you more than anyone ever could, and He has a life full of promises waiting for you no matter who you are, where you’ve been, or what you’ve done.  Jeremiah 29:11-13 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to PROSPER you, and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE. Then you will call upon me, and come and PRAY to me, and I will LISTEN to you. You will seek me, and FIND me when you seek me with ALL OF YOUR HEART.”

 

In Christ’s FREEING Love,

Ashley N. Moulin

 

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Fearless and Confident

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18

 

Hey guys, it’s Ash. If you read my latest solo blog post, you know I haven’t been myself. I have been hiding myself in Jesus and His Word, the only Friend I feel I can relate to right now. I’m just trying to figure out all my purposes He has for me, and the woman I will become in Him. I want so much to be His servant, but maybe I’ve been hiding myself in Him a little too much when He wants me to spread His Light into a dark world. I realize I might not know everything about writing, and I might not be the sharpest writer, but that’s OK. I am trying my best to learn, and if writing is His will for me, I know my God will help me. These last couple months, Jesus has changed me, and I’m starting to understand that I not only want to spread awareness about my disability, but I am even more passionate about spreading awareness about the God who gives me CONFIDENCE and PURPOSE in my disability. I can’t get the confidence I have from my family or anyone else. Friends, whether you have a disability or not, no matter who you are, Jesus DELIGHTS in you. John 10:10 in the Bible, Jesus says, “I have come that they may have LIFE, and have it to the FULL.” That verse doesn’t just mean if you know Him as your Savior, you can have life in Heaven, but it means if you truly know Him as your Savior, you can have a FULL life NOW. He died a cruel death on a cross for you. LIVE for Jesus.

 

In Christ’s Love,

Ashley N. Moulin

 

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